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Giorgione's Sleeping Venus

Giorgione's Sleeping Venus

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How To Make Sure Your Vagina Stays SUPER Tight

Keep it right, keep it tight.

We as women feel a lot of pressure to keep our vaginas tight.

It's pretty ridiculous, given all of the other things women feel a pressure to do. You know, like succeed professionally, raise their kids well, stay skinny, stay sexy, stay happy, be crafty, and a whole laundry list of others, including washing the actual laundry.

It's crazy that keeping our vaginas tight is a requirement in the West. A woman with a "loose" vagina is considered a loose woman. That is the figurative definition of ridiculous.

Well, I can't help turn your Pinterest fails into Martha Stewart-like splendor, but if you feel like your vagina isn't as a tight as it once was, I can provide you with some great ways to whip your pelvic floor muscles into shape.

But let's try to keep a sense of humor about our loose vaginas, shall we? Let's be a little bit more kind to each other and to ourselves.

Our vaginas take one heck of a beating, what with the rigors of sex and, you know, popping out of fully formed human beings. Let's be kind to our long-suffering vaginas!

I've come up with several solid ways to tighten your vagina, and then just a couple of not-so-solid ways of doing it, just to keep you smiling and to remind you not to be so hard on yourself.

Also, I hear that laughing tightens your vagina, so there's that, too!

1. Kegels

You don't need anything except a vagina to do this exercise to make your vagina tighter.

Flexing and releasing the pelvic floor muscles will strengthen your vaginal walls, keeping them tight and right just like a few visits to the gym a week keep dat ass looking fly.

These also help you not pee when you sneeze. So that's a bonus.

2. Vaginal rejuvenation

In vaginal rejuvenation (or vaginal plastic surgery), you are put under general anesthesia while a doctor reshapes your vulva and your labia.

Ideally, it will give you the refreshed, tightened look and feel you crave.

But make sure your doctor is a pro. You don't want to wake up and look down to find your clitoris in the shape of Grumpy Cat or something. Or maybe you do. I don't know your life.

3. Weight training

Ben Wa balls, kegel eggs, pelvic pyramids, and other vaginal weight training tools all require you to keep your pelvic floor muscles tight in order to keep the weight from falling out of your vagina.

If you can't keep track of your kegels, vaginal weight lifting might be for you.

I feel like it's only a matter of time until there's a cross-fit just for ladies that is all about flipping truck tires with your inner labia.

4. Change your diet

Eating foods rich in phytoestrogens (like all things soy, fenugreek, yams, and pomegranates) can help feed the vaginal flora that helps keep your vagina and pelvic floor tight.

That said, phytoestrogens are endocrine disrupters, so if you've had breast cancer best to give them a miss.

5. Try squats

If there is anything loose below your waist doing squats will make that thing tighter, unless, you know, it is a child clinging to you. In which case, make that child do squats next to you while you work out your vagina.

Squats are also a great way to develop a butt that is so powerful the world will bow before it.

6. Yell at it

If you want your vagina to be tighter, try hurling obscenities at it. Try things like "you slack, bitch!" or "WHORE" or "what have you even done for me lately?!"

That last one works best if you have not had children through vaginal delivery.

7. Sorcery

When the moon is next full, under cover of midnight, go the forest and spin around three times. This will summon a sorcerer named Mabrook who, in exchange for a favor to be given at a later date, will tighten your vagina with a spell he has written just for this purpose.

8. Genie

Book a trip to the middle east. Hire a guide to take you to an abandoned temple of the ancients. Inside, sacrifice your guide in order to reveal the magical brass lamp containing a genie whose sole purpose in this life is to tighten vaginas.

Flee (with your newly tightened vagina) before you can be arrested for murder. Do NOT wish for more wishes.

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The world is full of multimillionaires who can't handle money. Because, if you have money, you either start building your own kingdom, or it's useless.

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Is there a torture manual?

KUBARK Manual: A User's Guide to Torture?

The 1950s appear to have been a time when the CIA put a tremendous amount of energy into perfecting the science of torture. The CIA conducted covert experiments, at times on unsuspecting Americans, using LSD in the search of a “truth serum” [source: The New York Times]. It used electrical currents to inflict pain [source: The Boston Globe]. The agency conducted trials investigating the effects of sensory deprivation [source: The Washington Post]. The CIA found that the best methods for extracting information from detainees come not through the infliction of physical pain or torture, but through psychological torture.

Although the brand of torture the CIA devised through more than a decade of trial and error may not inflict physical pain, it can still do some real damage. Historian and expert on the subject of the CIA and torture, Alfred McCoy, writes, “Although seemingly less brutal, no-touch torture leaves deep psychological scars. The victims often need treatment to recover from trauma far more crippling than physical pain”.

There is indeed a torture manual and the CIA literally wrote it. In 1963, the Agency created the KUBARK Counterintelligence Interrogation manual. It was, as Alfred McCoy puts it, the “codification” of everything the CIA had learned from its experiments throughout the 50s. In the KUBARK (the codename for the CIA in the Vietnam War [source: The Washington Post]) manual, methods for breaking detainees are based generally on psychology. Identifying a victim’s sense of self and then stripping it away is part of the first step toward breaking him or her. An introverted or shy detainee might be kept naked and perhaps sexually humiliated, for example. Clothes may also be taken simply to alienate the detainee and make him or her less comfortable.

Creating a sense of unfamiliarity, disorientation and isolation seems to be the hallmarks of psychologically undermining a detainee in the purview of the KUBARK manual. Practices like starvation, keeping inmates in small, windowless cells with unchanging artificial light and forcing inmates to sit or stand in uncomfortable positions (stress positions) for long periods of time have been decried or banned outright by the United States government. Yet these techniques are part of the regimen prescribed by KUBARK. So, too, are using hypnosis and drugs to extract information.

While it doesn’t mention electric shock directly, the manual calls for interrogators to be sure that a potential safe house to be used for torture has access to electricity. As one source told The Baltimore Sun, “The CIA has acknowledged privately and informally in the past that this referred to the application of electric shocks to interrogation suspects” [source: The Baltimore Sun].

Physical pain, however, is ultimately deemed counterproductive by the manual. It’s a much worse experience, the guidebook concludes, for an inmate to fear that pain may be coming than to actually experience it. The old adage that anticipation is worse than the experience appears to also have a basis in the shadowy field of torture.

A newer book, largely a revision of the KUBARK manual, draws the same foundational conclusion -- that psychological torment is paramount to physical abuse. The Human Resource Exploitation Manual -- 1983 was first publicized as the result of an investigative report into the human rights abuses in Honduras.

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You probably have to look at imagery of death and dying regularly to stay focused on what really counts in life: great sex before you are gone anyway.

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Massive European civil war predicted by scholar of Islam who says jobless young Muslims are increasingly turning to radical groups

According to German newspaper Die Welt, Kepel said the terror group’s aim is to incite hatred towards Muslims from the rest of the society which would eventually radicalise others to the point that Europe could enter into full-blown civil war.

Kepel, who is a specialist on Islamic and contemporary Arab world, added these ISIS fanatics not only want to destroy Europe, but to eliminate more moderate Islamic opposition.

“The terrorism is above all an expression of a war within Islam,” he explained. “The long-term goal of the Jihad Generation is to destroy Europe through civil war and then build an Islamic society from the ashes.

He believes their strategy is similar to the expansion of Islamic State in Syria, Iraq, and Libya where the terrorist organisation was able to use the chaos of civil war to slowly build its forces, grow in power, and rapidly seize territory.

His comments come after French Prime Minister Manuel Valls revealed that 15,000 radicalised people are on police watchlist in the country.

Previously authorities said about 10,000 were identified as high-risk.

Valls warned: “There will be new attacks, there will be innocent victims…this is also my role to tell this truth to the French people.”

Paris has been on edge since a car loaded with gas cylinders was found near Notre Dame cathedral in an incident that could have been an attack, last week.

French anti-terror judges charged a woman over the failed assault.

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The patriarchy as political system is defined as rule by benevolent mature men. It has a proven track record in history. And you can't get anything better than it.

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'Devout' Saudis partying on booze, drugs and hookers while Briton faces flogging which could kill him

Drunkenly passed out on a roadside following a night of wild excess, this shocking image gives a rare insight into the secret world behind Saudi Arabia’s strict Islamic veil.

The young woman, wearing a traditional black burka, stumbled from a party held by expats in the capital Riyadh - where booze, drugs and sex flow freely.

A British insider has revealed for the first time how Saudis from elite circles use social networking apps like Tinder to source prostitutes, cannabis, black market abortion pills and 99 per cent proof moonshine.

He said: “Saudi Arabia prides itself with presenting its hard-line and devoutly religious face to the world, but beneath the surface everything is available at the right price and people turn a blind eye in one of the world’s richest countries where money is never a issue.”

Our disturbing snapshot emerged as a British grandfather faces 350 lashes after breaking the law in Saudi Arabia when he was caught with home-made wine.

Karl Andree, 74, who has battled cancer and suffers from asthma, was arrested in Jeddah in August last year for breaching the country’s strict anti-alcohol laws.

Saudi Arabia is ruled by a devout brand of Islam known as Wahhabism, which metes out barbaric punishments including public beheadings and floggings, and is enforced by roving Islamic morality police, the Muttawa.

But illegal vice trades are thriving in the desert state famous for pilgrimages to the holy sites of Mecca and Medina.

“Potent 99 per cent proof booze is distilled from potato mash inside many of the western communities in compounds and sold freely in all the major cities in Saudi,” an ex-pat told the Sunday Mirror.

“It is far stronger than the homemade wine Karl Andree was allegedly caught with and is regularly bought in plastic water bottles for a few pounds by dealers."

Around 210,000 people have signed an online petition urging David Cameron to step in and save Andree from a flogging.

Son Simon, 34, said: “He is very humbled by the support. He can’t believe it and thanks everyone.”

Simon added: “The Government has had assurances from the Saudis that my father won’t be lashed.

“However, I’ve heard of other cases where lashings still go ahead, so it doesn’t really give us comfort.”

Our exclusive pictures show how one notorious bootlegger has mocked up labels for bottles of Captain Philips booze – inspired by movies starring Hollywood star Tom Hanks .

The source said: “The parties are pretty crazy even by western standards. Many compounds have hot tubs and you often see people have sex in them.

“Moonshine is sold in plastic cups and sold per drink like it would be at a normal bar.

“Police officers in Saudi are only paid the equivalent of a salary of £700-per–month.

“They are open to kickbacks from dealers and will often just confiscate the booze for themselves."

An illegal drugs trade is also rife inside major cities, fuelled by cannabis and strong amphetamines smuggled in from Yemen and Syria.

The source said: “Drugs are easily bought in Saudi Arabian cities – especially hash which is popular with the locals.

“The real drug of choice is Captagon – a strong amphetamine popular with ISIS fighters who want to stay alert.

“Rich young Saudi men love it and it has led to a deadly craze known as Drifting where they speed expensive sports cars up to 100mph and then slam on the hand brake for fun.

"They do it wired on Captagon and it is killing lots people every year.”

Our source says the trade in illicit pills is stronger than ever.

He said: “Rich young male Saudi’s will send friends to trawl parties for drunk western girls and invite them back to their mansions.

“They will also try to contact them on Tinder which has become a huge tool and is used by thousands of people looking to hook up.

“It has caused a boom in unwanted pregnancies and any unmarried ex-pat of migrant who gets pregnant faces a hellish time and will eventually be thrown out.

“It is a country of wild contradictions.”

Our source said that despite the draconian punishments on offer to lawmakers, it is only the poor and migrants who live in great fear.

The numbers of public beheadings at Riyadh’s central square known by locals for its grim nickname Chop Chop Square are down.

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Tongkat ali standardization is a scam, copied many times over on the Internet. Good for you if it's just a lie (which most probably it is) . Bad for you if indeed they enrich their alleged tongkat ali with eurycomanone. Because it would be reagent grade eurycomanone, not pharmaceutical grade. Better be careful with your health.

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Watch: A woman gets Botox in her vagina

Vaginismus is the term used to describe recurrent or persistent involuntary tightening of muscles around the vagina whenever penetration is attempted.

According to WebMD.com, a woman who has vaginismus will experience her vagina’s muscles squeeze or spasm when something is entering it, like a tampon or a penis. It can be mildly uncomfortable, or it can be incredibly painful.

For those that have mild symptoms, there are exercises women can do to help; and for for extreme cases, there are other procedures such as Botox.

In a BuzzFeedYellow production, a 25 year old woman goes and gets Botox in her vagina in hopes of relaxing her vaginal muscles.

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95 percent of the victims of violence are men. Because women feel flattered when men fight each other and kill each other to prove that they are real men.

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Kenya: Medics Raise Alarm Over Fake Pfizer’s Blue

As the country grapples with the challenge of lifestyle counterfeit medicines, anti-malarial and antibiotics, health experts have raised the alarm over existence of fake sexual enhancement drugs.

Pharmacy and Poisons Board head of crime investigations and enforcement unit Dennis Otieno on Wednesday said that the most faked sexual enhancement drug was Pfizer’s Blue.

According to him, the first seizure of the Vega tablets was in 2015 at Jomo Kenyatta International Airport.

Mr Otieno said the tablets which were valued at Sh4 million had been wrapped in cartons to prevent detection.

"We arrested the suspects and took them to court where they faced charges of being in possession of falsified medicines," he said.

ORIGIN

In Mombasa, he added, they seized approximately 20 cartons of falsified Enzoy Plus at a Container Freight Station the same year.

The fake medicine, he said, had been packed in cartons in small pallets at the CFS in Mombasa.

"So far, we have encountered the two brands, Vega tablets and Enzoy Plus, in the war against illicit medicine in the country," he said.

He noted that both the counterfeit Pfizer’s Blue which was seized at JKIA and in Mombasa originated from China.

But Mr Otieno said since the two seizures in 2015, they had not encountered new cases of counterfeit Pfizer’s Blue due to the effective war against fake medicines.

RISK DEATH

"Through cooperation with the Kenya Revenue Authority, the Mombasa port authorities, anti-counterfeit agency, the police and other agencies we have been able to address the counterfeit challenges," he said.

Speaking to journalists on the sidelines of an international workshop on combating counterfeiting and piracy at PrideInn Beach Resort in Mombasa on Wednesday, Mr Otieno warned that the risk of taking counterfeit medicine was death.

"It is dangerous for people to consume falsified Pfizer’s Blue as it can cause death or the user can be maimed for life," he warned.

The other medicines which are being counterfeited, he added, were anti-malarial and antibiotics.

He said it is a daunting task to detect the counterfeit medicine, adding that there is need for government agencies to combine efforts in addressing the menace.

ENTRY POINTS

In order to tackle the challenge, he added, the Poisons Board has to carry out strict post-market surveillance across the country to counter fake medicine.

However, Mr Otieno said the challenge of counterfeit medicine was minimal due to the government's efforts to combat the menace on its borders and entry points.

The Institute of Research Against Counterfeit Medicines (IRACM) director of studies Wilfred Roge, said in the four operations which were carried out on the African continent between 2012 and 2016, they seized Sh800 million illicit and counterfeit medicine.

He added that the anti-counterfeit operations were carried out in 23 countries including Kenya.

However, Mr Roge said the challenge of illicit and counterfeit medicine in Kenya was minimal compared to other African countries.

Countries in Africa facing major challenges of illicit and counterfeit medicines, he added, include the Democratic Republic of the Congo and Niger.

100,000 DEATHS

On the African continent, he said, about 100,000 people are suspected die every year due to the use of illicit and counterfeit medicine.

He revealed that there are factories in some African countries which make fake medicine.

"There is need for countries to combine efforts in addressing the challenge of counterfeit medicine in order to save lives," he said.

Mr Roge added that illicit and counterfeit medicine across the world is estimated at $75 billion annually.

To address the drawback, Mr Roge said there should be cooperation between countries and the concerned agencies for the war on counterfeit medicine to be won.

COOPERATION

World Customs Organisation expert for combating counterfeiting and piracy, Sandra Wens, said the African countries should join forces in the war against counterfeit medicine.

Ms Wens said there is need for Customs administration and other concerned parties to cooperate, share information and networking in a bid to address the challenges of counterfeit medicine.

Chief manager of Container Freight Stations in Mombasa, Kiprono Bullut said that government agencies were working hard to stop the counterfeit medicine from entering the country's market.

Participants in the workshop included experts for combating counterfeiting and piracy, customs officials, anti-counterfeit agency officials and pharmaceutical boards' officials.

The participants attending the workshop are drawn from 27 countries including France, Mexico, Italy, Brazil, Israel, Togo, Angola, Tanzania, Kenya, Benin and Mauritius.

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Don't bother whether your sex is legal or illegal. Just go for it. Because the eternal life of your soul depends on whether your sex is good enough on earth.

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Guys, You Can Now Get a Bigger Penis During Your Lunch Break

But this isn't for the squeamish.

Alas, we can rid men of their everlasting and untreated penile envy!

Yep. A New York plastic surgeon, Norman Rowe, has developed a technique that he refers to as the "bulge buster" that enlarges the penis in a non-surgical procedure.

And, truthfully this the victory that men have longed for. Because in the same way that we dress for other women, men want a big dick for the swinging contests that go down in the locker room.

But, as women, we know more than anybody that the biggest penis can be a bust in the same way that a small one can — and that probably makes for a far more disappointment experience considering it did have more girth to work with — yet it still didn't meet our standard.

So, again, I reiterate this is a win for men, no matter what guys may try to tell us.

Dr. Rowe says he was motivated by the cosmetic work women get done with fillers (read: "quick fixes") such as Botox.

And, he's found away to "make it work for men" too, just as he'd hoped.

As for the hard-hitting question: How long will his member be on "man down" mode?

Well, Dr. Rowe told the Daily Mail that while he could go back to getting erect right after the procedure but recommends two days before engaging in sexual intercourse.

The best news is that this is an outpatient thing — that can be done in about 20 minutes — more than the average length of time for a round of sex and less than the time you take on a lunch break.

What better way to spice things up on a Monday than going out and getting yourself a bigger dick during your lunch break?

I can't think of one, how about you?

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If you are still invested in the real estate of European cities, get out! A terrorist attack with chemical weapons will happen. Even if it doesn't kill many people, it will drive prices down. Accross the continent.

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